Our Gift to You
by Missyhissy3
Summary: VAMB Secret Santa 2014; Episode coda to 'Macrocosm', Season three.
1. Chapter 1

This was written for TheJesser25 who requested 'a JC story'. I took that to mean I could do whatever I liked – so I couldn't resist reviving the Tak Tak, my personal favourite of the DQ aliens. Thanks to northernexposure for the beta read.

Episode Coda for 'Macrocosm', Season three.

Our Gift to You

Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are standing side by side in the ready room at the foot of the steps that lead up to the raised seating area. Both are maintaining the posture that Neelix has advised as appropriate for diplomatic meetings – legs hip-width apart, arms by their sides and palms facing forwards. They are watching the Tak Tak Consul and Neelix, who are facing each other in front of the ready room desk.

As their negotiations draw to a close the Captain is feeling pleased with the way things have gone, particularly, she reflects, since the Tak Tak have a well-deserved reputation for being easily offended and unforgiving. And they have been known to open fire at the drop of a hat. Literally.

Neelix hands the Tak Tak Consul the small medical canister containing the antigen that the Doctor was able to synthesise to inhibit the ability to replicate of the macrovirus infecting this region of space.

"Our thanks." The Tak Tak Consul takes a step towards the Captain and bows low. As he continues to speak he stretches his arms straight out either side of him, pointing his fingers up vertically towards the ceiling as he bends, "Your generosity appreciated."

"You're welcome. And please accept our thanks too, for the gift of the dilithium crystals." Janeway replies as she steps forward with a bow of her own, stretching her arms wide, in a graceful, almost balletic movement. Then she straightens up, enjoying the look of approval on Neelix's beaming face. The Consul seems to be satisfied with her effort, so she continues, "They more than compensate for the destruction of our secondary power couplings."

The Consul inclines just his head this time. "Our pleasure, Captain." Then he throws one arm out in a sweeping gesture that seems to indicate the whole room, or conceivably the whole ship. "Further social exchanges desired. For you and your mate a ceremonial dinner prepared this evening. Our thanks for the antigen so kindly shared." Another deep bow. "Our sorrow again," this time he bends over sideways from the waist, raises one arm over his head and turns his head ninety degrees so that Kathryn is presented with his profile, "for our attempts to purify your vessel."

"There's no need for further apologies, Consul," Janeway replies, instinctively lifting her hands in front of her, but looking nervously to Neelix, who shakes his head rapidly. She quickly drops them to her sides. "That is very kind. We are simply passing through this sector however, and we are keen to get on our way."

The Consul's fingers flutter quickly across his chest and he raises his chin. "The dinner, great importance. Thanks necessary."

"We understand," Neelix interjects deferentially, looking straight up to the ceiling and curving one arm up around his head. "Thanks must indeed be given." Then he shoots an urgent glance at Kathryn. He appears to believe it would be wise to accept this invitation.

The Consul continues, sweeping his hand around the room again. "Captain Janeway and her mate, attendance required." Then he raises one arm over his head, bent at the elbow, and turns his head to the side, "Displeasure given again? Purification of your vessel not yet forgiven?"

"I assure you, you haven't displeased us. We have accepted your apologies for the near destru- the purification of our vessel." Janeway bows again, but this time she feels herself becoming more than a little impatient with the Consul.

_Just accept the damned apology and be done with it._

But it seems the Tak Tak are not to be hurried.

The Consul begins again, "My mate and I honoured to entertain you and your chosen one." This time he shifts quickly on the spot several times, and Kathryn wonders if he's engaging in some sort of meaningful dance. She hopes it isn't a preview of the entertainment on offer this evening at this ceremonial dinner. Clearly Neelix is right, it's time to acquiesce to this 'offer' of obligatory hospitality, if only to get the Consul out of her ready room so she can stop worrying about her every tiny movement.

"I see, well, Commander Chakotay and I will be happy to attend," she finally forces out, managing a small bow.

"Your mate? Your chosen one?" the Consul enquires, pointing both hands forward towards Chakotay, who seems suddenly fascinated by his regulation Starfleet boots.

"He is my first officer," Kathryn replies, careful not to add any gestures or body movements whatsoever.

"Your mate?" The Consul looks suddenly confused and distressed, and his fingers begin to flutter more rapidly. He crosses his arms tightly over his chest and looks at the floor as he continues, his tone urgent, "Your earlier explanation, many years of travel. Intimate companionship necessary."

Janeway hears Chakotay clear his throat as he looks up and she can't help catch his eye. Immediately she wishes she hadn't as the desire to giggle suddenly grips her. She looks down, sucks in her cheeks and balls one hand into a fist. She digs her fingernails deep into her flesh in an attempt to contain herself, forgetting that these gestures may carry some unintentional meaning. After a few seconds she's regained enough self-control to lift her head and continue.

"Well, humans are capable of functioning perfectly well without a mate."

"Adults humans?" The Consul looks up and lifts both arms from his sides to shoulder height, bends them at the elbow and flicks back his wrists so that his palms are facing the ceiling. "Astonishment!" he exclaims suddenly.

"Yes, I assure you," Kathryn replies calmly, "it is no great inconvenience for us."

"Intimate pleasures essential to well being," their guest lectures, bringing his arms down and squeezing his elbows close to his body while pointing his hands and forearms at the officers in front of him and sticking his chin high into the air.

Neither Neelix nor Chakotay seem inclined to help the Captain explain here, and she begins to suspect one or possibly both of them may be secretly entertained by her obvious discomfort.

"Offspring not desired?" the Consul then asks abruptly, raising his bent arms again in the gesture Kathryn surmises might be used to accompany certain questions.

"Well," she replies, "that's considered a very personal matter by our species, and not all humans necessarily procreate."

"Species of truly alien nature," the Consul states with evident further astonishment, if Kathryn is reading his gesture correctly.

Then he bows low again and this time he almost touches the floor with both hands. "Your matelessness, my condolences." Just as she's wondering quite how to receive that comment, he suddenly straightens up and looks her in the eye. "A substitute mate will be provided at the ceremonial dinner. Our gift to you."

"Thank you," she says quickly, almost forgetting to bow, "but that _really_ won't be necessary."

"Our insistence," he claps impatiently. "Technology available with ease. Simple scan of human male required." He points towards Chakotay, "Functioning replicated substitute of great anatomical accuracy. Our gift to you. Our further apologies."

Kathryn really hopes she is misunderstanding what is being offered – threatened – here. "_Please_ believe me, Consul, when I say that _really_ isn't necessary."

"Our gift unacceptable?" the fluttering fingers are off again, and he's dipped so low this time that he must be able to see the individual fibres of the ready room carpet.

_Hope the damn thing's clean_, Kathryn thinks.

The Consul is still swishing his arms backwards and forwards in an agitated fashion, "Unforgiven our offences remain."

"It's not that, really." Janeway flounders in exasperation, lost for words now and looking imploringly at Chakotay and Neelix for help, "It's just, that it would be- "

Kathryn has already noticed that her first officer is studiously avoiding eye contact with anyone and now she sees that he's actually shaking very slightly. She can't decide whether this is because of the strain of supressing his amusement or whether he's actually struggling to maintain the posture appropriate for matters of diplomacy. Either way, he's absolutely no help to her at all here.

Thank goodness her chief morale officer finally responds to her beseeching looks.

"Consul, your solicitousness most pleasing," Neelix replies on her behalf, "Our apologies," he continues, bending sideways at the waist, and twisting his head ninety degrees to present the Consul with his profile, mirroring the Tak Tak's earlier gesture. "Captain Janeway unaccustomed to your language, your question misunderstood. Her explanation inadequate. Commander Chakotay most capable first officer." Janeway's eyes widen, as Neelix's next far less obscure gesture involves an alarmingly sudden forward thrust of his pelvis. "The Captain's needs well catered for. Gift of the substitute unnecessary."

The Consul flutters his fingers violently and bends sideways from the waist himself again. "Our apologies once more, Mr Neelix."

Then he turns and bows low to Chakotay, whose face remains remarkably composed, but his dancing eyes and the flush rising up his neck announce loudly to Kathryn just how close the man is to losing control of himself.

"Forgive me Commander Chakotay. Little experience of off-worlders. Your customs most alien. No offence to you and your Captain intended. Her expression unclear. More practice with our language needed to avoid further embarrassment. Long life, many children and good health to you and your Captain Janeway. Your presence at dinner most anticipated."

Chakotay manages a passable bow in response to this address, but fails to lift his face back up and remains studying the carpet – which Kathryn concedes is probably for the best right now.

Then the Consul turns and bows again to Janeway, "Good health, strong body, clear mind Captain Janeway. Your arrival eagerly awaited this evening."

Neelix winks at Janeway and then with a wide sweep of his arm and a deep bow of his own, he gestures towards the door and shows the Tak Tak Consul out.

Kathryn and Chakotay hear only the first part of the little Talaxian's attempt at conversation with the Consul, as their guest precedes him out onto the bridge. "Your customs fascinating, Consul," Neelix begins, "These substitutes – you possess the ability to replicate any species?"

The door swishes shut behind them and Janeway turns to Chakotay, "Please tell me I'm hearing things here, because I'm wondering if I need to relieve Mr Neelix of his duties as unofficial ambassador after what I think he just claimed."

"My Tak Tak may not be up to much either, but actually I think you might need to promote him. I think he just saved you from being presented with a man-sized 'intimate companion substitute' – possibly based on my physical parameters - in the middle of the ceremonial dinner tonight."

They lock eyes and suddenly Kathryn knows that this is the last straw. The two of them collapse into fits of uncontrollable laughter. She finds herself having to put both hands on her desk to steady herself. A few seconds are written off completely in this way and then she attempts to regain her composure. But there are tears of laughter falling now, and looking at him really doesn't help. He's crying too.

Finally, she manages to squeeze out an order, her voice coming out several tones higher than usual at first. "As soon as Harry confirms that the Consul has beamed back, can you catch up with Neelix and make sure he knows to keep this little episode between the three of us?"

"Yes, Captain," Chakotay replies, as he squares his shoulders and dabs the corner of one eye with his cuff. He clears his throat and stands to attention almost, hands clasped tightly behind his back, but then he adds, "I think that's a good idea, because this time Mr Paris might not be the only one who would have something to say about Neelix spoiling all the fun by declining that gift on your behalf."

Kathryn isn't going to let him derail her attempts to collect herself, so she opts for attack. "You can wipe that smirk off your face, Commander! I'd like to see you handle a situation like that any better."

He's clearly having none of it yet though and he waggles his eyebrows at her, his grin as wide as a Cheshire cat's, "Next time, Kathryn, if it gets you out of a tight spot, you have my permission to claim straight away that I'm your mate, your chosen one, your personal slave or whatever else the situation requires."

"Very gracious of you, Commander," Kathryn mutters, finally able to relax a little as the urge to giggle slowly recedes again.

_Oh God, how are we going to get through a whole evening with them?_

And then she pretty much continues her train of thought out loud. "The Tak Tak Consul might be right about one thing though."

"Oh?" he queries, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Janeway scowls. "I mean when he said I needed more practice with their language."

"Actually, I thought you acquitted yourself admirably, Captain," he offers with a plausible level of conviction.

Janeway purses her lips, unconvinced. "I only hope your interest in anthropology means you have more of a feel for it than I do. Otherwise this could be one tricky ceremonial dinner – without Neelix to keep us on the straight and narrow."

Chakotay chuckles. "I'll admit though, I do find some of their gestures and expressions fascinating. What was it he said, "Intimate pleasures essential to well being"? I'd enjoy studying Tak Tak culture in more detail actually."

She shoots him a withering look.

"Purely from an anthropological point of view, obviously," he adds quickly.

"You better tread carefully here, Commander, or the only thing you'll find yourself studying in more detail is the inside of the brig."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Janeway scowls at him, then raises her chin and waves a cautionary finger. "Seriously, Chakotay, I suggest we both take the time to study the information Neelix has put together very closely before we beam down to this ceremonial dinner."

"Understood," he replies, his still-dancing eyes belying the oh-so professional expression of well-practised neutrality he is in the process of resuming.

She motions for him to precede her as they exit the ready room. "Oh, and I can give you one tip already; whatever you do, don't put your hands on your hips."

He chuckles as the door swishes shut behind them and they pass in front of Tuvok's station and head for the command centre of the bridge together.

Kathryn catches Chakotay's eye as they sit down, then he leans across and says, "I get the feeling there's a story I'd like to hear there. Why don't you fill me in?"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: This was just one chapter originally - but today it became two. And there might be a three eventually.

Big thank you to northernexposure for the beta read and to Koniea and Hester for encouraging me to continue the story.

* * *

Chapter Two

Kathryn exhales, making a conscious effort to relax her shoulders as she sits back in her seat. She surveys the dining hall. The ceremonial dinner is going surprisingly well. There is only one more course left.

She turns to catch her first officer's eye, feeling the corner of her mouth twitch up as she remarks, "I think Neelix will be more than satisfied with our performance this evening. Wouldn't you say, Commander?"

"So far so good, Captain," he agrees cautiously.

Then, as if the universe had heard the pride in her voice and decided to do something about it, the 'sharing' course Kathryn has forgotten about is announced.

Kathryn watches as the guests turn one way or the other to pair up in order to partake of this final 'cutlery free' course. Neelix's preparatory notes warned that this course is always enjoyed with a partner and involves the shared consumption of a long thread of pasta-like twine, served in a large bowl. He'd mentioned that it could get quite messy.

As one of the young males waiting on them places a large bowl and a folded white sheet of material on the table, Kathryn becomes aware that she is being watched intently by the tall angular Tak Tak on her right, whose wiry looking facial hair she'd noticed earlier. She turns quickly to her left to find Chakotay already facing her; his features are carefully neutral, but, as usual, his eyes give him away.

Kathryn chews the inside corner of her bottom lip. Her gaze flickers to the surprisingly hirsute Tak Tak female on the other side of him. "You no good with beards either?"

He chuckles quietly, and picks up the thin white sheet; a sheet which she remembers is to be used as the shared napkin. "Shall I do the honours?" he asks, as he holds it up.

She nods and leans towards him, tilting her head down and holding her thick braid out of the way so he is able to fasten the ties of the two-person napkin at the back of her neck.

"Do you want me to do you?" she asks, instantly regretting the phrasing.

"Be my guest," he replies, and those damn twinkling eyes are at it again. The man is insufferable today. Despite the lack of any real tangible evidence, she suspects he always secretly enjoys the moments on their journey when they are faced with no option other than to embrace the absurd.

Kathryn takes the other end of the fabric from him and reaches up to fasten it at the back of his neck. He dips his head to accommodate her and she registers somewhere in the part of her mind marked 'sublimate' how surprisingly soft his warm skin is.

Now they are joined by the shared napkin, they look across the table to the Tak Tak Consul and his mate to see exactly how to start this dish. Neelix's briefing was very clear on the fact that it is considered the height of bad table manners to use ones fingers, and this final course is 'cutlery free'. It appears each diner has to pick up their end of the thick pasta-like rope using only their teeth.

The Consul and his partner lean towards their bowl simultaneously and as they do so, they reach out with their right hands and clasp each other around the back of the neck. Then they appear to indulge in a bit of nuzzling in the large dish, before they take hold of their respective ends of the twine and slowly sit upright again, without releasing their hold on each other. The long twisted rope-like 'delicacy' is now stretched between their mouths and drips the occasional drop of sauce onto the napkin. Then they both begin to skilfully consume their end, appearing to somehow suck the thread inwards, open mouthed, without biting through and causing it to drop.

Kathryn catches Chakotay's eye and they wordlessly agree to observe a few more couples before attempting to start in case there are other acceptable ways of beginning this task. After watching the couples either side of the Consul behaving in exactly the same fashion, they lock eyes again.

Then she turns a little too far away from him and feels the tug of the napkin as he is pulled with her. Turning back she finds him grinning and she purses her lips.

"Stop looking at me like that!" she scolds. "You're going to set us off again. And we've done so well this evening."

He holds up both hands. "Nelix's notes did hint that this course was likely to be a challenge."

"You telling me you don't think you're up to it?"

"No, I'm sure we'll do just fine. And I promise I won't bite."

She rolls her eyes at him. "Right, come on," she says, "Let's do it. And don't try to talk with your mouthful – or you may bite through it and we'll have to ask for another one and start over."

"Understood. May I?" he asks, extending his right hand towards her neck.

She nods permission and his fingers slide up underneath her hair. She focuses on supressing both her awareness of the absurdity of the situation and her instinct to pull away to regain her personal space. She reaches towards him.

"Right hand, Captain," he corrects quickly.

"Right. Yes. Sorry," she switches hands and cups the back of his neck. His close-cropped hair is thick and soft - pleasing to the touch, like velvety animal fur.

"Left hand might mean something else," he points out a bit too cheerfully, with a twitch of the eyebrow.

"It might," she concedes as they lock eyes again. There is a second of mutual hesitation. Kathryn takes a deep breath, and says, "Well, here goes," and he follows her lead and they both begin to lower their faces towards their respective ends of the strange looking rope-pasta. As her mouth nears the dish, Kathryn feels his forehead gently bump hers, and he uses his hold on her to steer her away to prevent them from colliding again. He mumbles an apology and she grunts in reply, too intent on trying to get enough purchase on the twine with her teeth to pick it up. After a few more seconds slipping about and fumbling in the dish with her lips and tongue, her cheek grazing his several times, she finally gets the bit between her teeth. Only then does she realise she's been using her hold on his neck to steady herself as she manoeuvres, and she tries to loosen her grip. Only a little though, as she can't shake the feeling that his amusement is outweighing his discomfort here.

Eventually, she feels him pulling back, and she surmises he must have finally gotten his end under control too, so she risks slowly lifting her face out of the bowl. The sight of him on the other end of the twisted pasta-like twine, a hefty dollop of the dark red sauce on his nose and some on his right cheek proves him right. This course was always going to be a challenge.

Once again she realises she's steadied herself and maintained her focus on the task by increasing her grip on the back of his neck.

_Oh well, he'll live. The Doctor can see to the fingernail marks later. _

The mischievous glint in his eyes tells her more than she wants to know about how she must be looking right now. She isn't sure, but she thinks there's a pretty good chance she's even managed to get a little of the sauce in her hair.

Now that the twine is securely in her mouth, she registers that it is really quite tasty. It reminds her of the tang of citrus fruit – somewhere between an orange and a lime – and the sauce is delicious and possibly alcoholic, with a flavour that is reminiscent of dark chocolate and caramel. She has an urge to lick her lips, but this proves to be completely impossible with the thick thread hanging down out of her mouth. It's a good 30 centimetres long, so they'd better start eating the ridiculous thing, or they'll get left behind. The last thing she wants is for them to become the after dinner entertainment for the assembled Tak Tak dignitaries.

Kathryn is irritated to see that Chakotay's attention has drifted from the task in hand over her shoulder to the couple on her right, out of her own line of sight. This couple was one of the first to start. Then something in his expression changes and his hold on Kathryn's neck tightens slightly. Her sixth sense tells her he's seeing something that she isn't going to like. He still hasn't started sucking in his end of the rope – he's just holding it carefully between his sauce smeared lips with his mouth in an 'o' shape. Kathryn watches as his eyes flicker now towards the Consul and his partner opposite them. This time she can follow his gaze, and she understands the cause of his sudden distraction. It appears that once you meet in the middle, it's customary to compare notes on the taste of the dish with the entwining of tongues.

_Thank God the rest of the crew aren't here._

They lock eyes again and in his she reads a mixture of amusement and barely disguised panic.

_Oh well,_ she thinks, _in for a penny…_

They both begin to suck in their respective ends. The speed at which he's approaching makes her wonder whether he's had the same thought about not wanting to be last to finish. They make quick work of it – the taste certainly helps, although Kathryn's surprised by how hard it is to swallow when you can't close your mouth. When only the last few centimetres of the twined pasta-like thread are left between them, they both pause. The moment is heavy with anticipation. His eyes look black and his face carries a deep flush, not that far off the colour of the sauce, actually.

The room seems very warm and she feels his hand adjust its hold on the back of her neck slightly. She shifts her gaze to fix it firmly on his mouth rather than his eyes. Purposefully not giving herself any more time to think about this, she works forward to take in more of the twine at the exact same moment as he does and their lips meet. She can't help but taste him as his chocolaty-limey-orangey tongue finds hers and slides deliciously against it and the full to bursting 'sublimation' section of her mind finally overflows; for a tiny fraction of a second she actually forgets where they are.

A few seconds later when the last fragments of the twine between them have been consumed, they break apart and Kathryn releases the back of his head. He's a bit slower on the up-take, and she has to prod him a little to prompt him to remove his hand from where it's still cupping the back of her neck. He's looking decidedly flustered – she almost feels sorry for him. She speculates that it's probably a good thing 'Fleet dress uniforms are loose and fall mid-thigh.

He clears his throat and fumbles with the knot she tied at the back of his neck.

"Here," she directs him. "I'll do it."

He obediently bends his head, seemingly keen to avoid her gaze. She frees him of the shared napkin and lifts it over her own head without bothering to undo the knot he'd tied, then dumps it rather unceremoniously on the table. Finding a clean section of the napkin, she uses it to wipe the sauce from her cheek. Chakotay follows her example and then they act as a mirror for one another, until the worst of the damage is repaired.

Looking across, Kathryn observes as both the Consul and his mate incline their heads in unison until they are almost touching the table for a few seconds in what Kathryn hopes is acknowledgement of a ritual properly observed. She nods to Chakotay and her eyes instruct him that they'd be wise to mimic the gesture. Their attempt seems to be sufficient and the Consul turns back to converse with his dinner companion. Kathryn lets out a slow controlled breath.

Then Chakotay clears his throat and when she looks his way he leans in towards her again and remarks quietly, "Well, that made for a memorable first kiss, Kathryn."

"It wasn't a kiss," she replies casually.

He looks up and his brow furrows.

"In diplomatic terms it was an unavoidable obligation," she asserts, leaning back in her chair and confidently surveying the room. In her peripheral vision she can see the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

"Made for a memorable first unavoidable obligation then."

She turns to look at him. Intent on putting a lid on this quickly, she ignores the rather enticing twinkle of mischief in those dark eyes and says, "If I remember Neelix's brief correctly, there should be after dinner drinks. Are you up to risking the Tak Tak version of coffee, Commander?"

The smirk still on his face, he straightens up a little in his seat.

"I'm game if you are, Captain."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: OK, so, I couldn't leave it there; the Tak Tak just had to have the last word.

A big thank you to northernexposure for the beta read and to everyone who has reviewed.

Chapter three

Digestifs consumed and the arduous 'shared' course fading into memory, the Captain and her first officer are led up onto the small stage at the far end of the hall, where they find themselves the centre of attention, just as they were on arrival several hours earlier.

The atmosphere is one of anticipation – it seems unlikely that _Voyager_'s command team are going to be able to make their escape without yet more oratory. The long speech the Tak Tak Consul gave at the beginning of the ceremonial dinner was in large parts unintelligible, but Janeway had smiled benignly, choosing to believe it was some sort of elaborate welcome. Hopefully this one will be less elaborate and less protracted, as it's already been a _very_ long day. For a good half hour now the bathtub has been calling from orbit.

The Tak Tak version of coffee turned out to be inky black and strong enough to put hairs on your teeth, but sadly it was served in miniscule vase shaped jugs, holding barely one mouthful. Despite Janeway's effusive praise, there was no offer of a refill. If only they'd managed to refuse this dinner somehow and bypass all these time consuming Tak Tak rituals, they'd be at the outer rim of this system by now. And Kathryn would have avoided all that 'sharing' with her second in command…

She eyes him cautiously. He is watching the assembled officials, his expression giving nothing away. He seems remarkably relaxed. Perhaps his interest in anthropology is sustaining him where she is flagging.

Then, all of Kathryn's attention is suddenly demanded by the Consul and his mate as they finally ascend to the stage. In the few minutes since they vacated their seats at the long dinner table, the Consul's mate has found the time to don some truly eye-catching headgear. Her previous unadorned locks are now crowned with a fascinator the likes of which Kathryn has never seen – and she's seen a fair few in her travels. It is made of something akin to wicker, woven into a shape that is halfway between an 's' and a question mark. It's the best part of a metre tall and the hollow inside is full of vibrantly coloured feathers. It must take practice to wear something like this, and the Consul's mate is clearly an expert. She glides up the steps to the stage, holding her head high with calm authority.

Standing beside her, the Consul raises his hands high above his head and claps.

"Blessings!" he announces.

Stretching his arms wide either side of him, he turns his whole body towards Janeway. "Good forward journey, Captain Janeway of _Voyager_, ship of most outlandish distant off-worlders," and he executes a rather conservative bow by Tak Tak standards.

Kathryn offers a polite smile and dips her head in acknowledgement.

Then the Consul's mate steps forward and pliés. She holds the position at the lowest point of the knee bend and declares, "Your journey short and safe? Unlikely. Travellers foolhardy in length of journey. Survival unlikely."

Janeway catches Chakotay's eye and he quirks an eyebrow. She allows herself no such indiscretions; the diplomatic smile is still firmly in place. She suspects they have been very lucky so far, in that all the Consul's mate has chosen to do is throw a little verbal censure their way. Given the speed at which the Tak Tak turned on them and decided to 'purge' their ship as soon as they detected _Voyager_ had the virus on board, Kathryn is convinced that, in Tak Tak terms, the welcome they've had so far this evening has been positively tropical.

Then the Consul takes over again. This time his voice rises in pitch and he almost sings his next words, bending his elbows and beating his arms, wing-like, at his sides. "Entreat for the_ Voyagers_ forces of serendipity. Good fortune! Most necessary. Much entreatying. Many days forward."

Just as with the opening speech, it seems that the universal translator can't really cut it when it comes to Tak Tak lyricism or rhetoric. Nevertheless, Kathryn is grateful for the Consul's kind wishes. He appears to be considerably more sympathetic to their plight than his mate.

With another sudden clap above his head, he exclaims, "Second blessing! Source of Life! Thanks must be given!"

Immediately, all the assembled Tak Tak in the hall and on the small stage respond by aligning themselves in pairs, a short distance apart, each male facing a female, as if they were preparing to begin some sort of dance. Then the males reach out and place both palms flat on the females' chests. In outward appearance the anatomy of a female Tak Tak differs little from that of a human female, other than that their chest area is home to two long, flat appendages, which extend from just below the shoulder right down to the waist. Consequently, a male has a long sloping expanse on which he is able to place his hands.

Kathryn watches Chakotay's brow furrow slightly as he observes their hosts. The Tak Tak Consul and his mate have already adopted the required posture and the Consul's mate turns her head and her enormous fascinator to watch _Voyager'_s first officer. His arms are still by his sides and his fingers curled. Another second passes and she makes loud clicking sounds with her tongue before addressing the hesitant human.

"Most _important _blessing. _ Wise_ to give thanks, Commander of _Voyager_."

Chakotay looks to Kathryn for help.

She arches an eyebrow, attempting to resign herself to yet more unavoidable and testing Tak Tak tradition. "You appear to be holding things up, Commander," she remarks curtly.

"Right," he replies, avoiding her gaze. Then he gingerly arranges his large hands as far up her torso as possible, the tips of his fingers on her shoulders. Kathryn registers a light pressure where the base of each of his palms gently grazes the uppermost swell of her breasts. She keeps her gaze firmly fixed on Chakotay's hairline, as he wrestles his features into a neutral expression.

Now they have adopted the requisite posture, the Consul's mate nods and her partner continues the 'Thanks' of this second blessing.

"Wombs of delight," he proclaims. "Inflate with healthy offspring."

_Hmm._ Kathryn frowns. _Perhaps the Tak Tak female anatomy is significantly different after all._

Then she becomes aware of a gradually increasing humming sound, which begins to fill the dining hall. The sound is issuing from the male Tak Tak who have all now inclined their heads before the females. A second or two pass and Chakotay still hasn't joined in, despite her expectant expression. Eventually he lowers his head to bow to her and she hears a soft hum. After only a couple of seconds, however, his head comes back up enough to catch her eye. She scowls, hoping to shame him back to the task in hand. Considering he's the one with the interest in comparative cultural studies, she was expecting more from him.

Then Kathryn is distracted by a glint of something metal catching the light to her left. Before she can form another thought, the air is suddenly shattered by an astonishingly loud clang. It is so unexpectedly and intensely loud it makes her jump and inhale sharply, causing her chest to rise upwards slightly, sabotaging any careful positioning and giving her first officer two unavoidable handfuls. At least she manages to supress her natural instinct to put her own hands over her ears.

Immediately repositioning his hands, Chakotay stops humming and looks up, similarly startled by the shocking noise. Kathryn avoids his eyes and tries to focus on thinking Vulcan thoughts in the hopes that they will banish the blush that is already sweeping up her neck and face.

They both look towards the source of the sound. One of the males on the stage is standing in front of an enormous cylindrical metallic object that seems to have materialised in front of him since the blessing began. In one hand he's holding up what looks like a gigantic ladle.

The inhumanly loud instrument is sounded once more – louder still this time; in fact it is so damn loud Kathryn can't think straight, it's all she can do not to yelp. The males take this as a cue to stop humming and step back, retracting their hands and folding their arms across their chests. Chakotay follows suit immediately this time. _Small mercies._

As soon as this second painful clang finally fades, the Consul announces, "Acceptance of gifts!"

Kathryn glances instinctively at her right hand man and silently panics.

They were so relieved when Neelix's quick thinking appeared to head off the Consul's first suggestion of a gift for her, that they failed to consider the possibility that some sort of gift giving would still be part of the ceremonial dinner regardless. Neelix actually told them that bringing a gift would be unwise. He explained that the Tak Tak are an extremely self-sufficient and insular species who aren't usually receptive to presents from 'off-worlders'. They believe it is unlikely other species could possibly have anything they might want. He advised that any gift would be far more likely to offend than please. Consequently, the command team haven't even bothered replicate a presentation box containing a _Voyager_ medallion.

Before they have time to confer, the Consul's wife steps right into Kathryn's personal space and pulls her forward away from Chakotay. Everyone standing on the stage moves to form a circle around her.

The Consul's wife announces, "Gift givers!" and Kathryn notices that two of the females in the circle have their hands full. The smaller of the two steps forward and presents _Voyager_'s captain with a folded piece of cloth.

"Thank you," Janeway replies, bowing respectfully and then carefully inspecting the length of fabric. "It's beautiful."

Her enthusiasm is genuine. It is a piece of cloth decorated with intricate embroidery – a shawl presumably – and although the clashing colour scheme of blues and yellows is perhaps more Neelix than her, it's obviously very skilfully made.

Then the taller gift-bearing female steps forward and holds up a shiny silver lattice of thin connected strips, about the size of a pillowcase, made of some slinky looking fabric – a wall hanging, perhaps.

"Your body scanned. Measurements accurate," she states.

Janeway is handed this second gift, and as the silver lattice slips between her fingers, she tries to make sense of the fact that it is supposed to be clothing. She speculates that it couldn't _possibly_ be intended for public consumption. Perhaps it is nightwear? Although even Phoebe, aged 17, during her 'intent to shock' phase would have drawn the line a long way in advance of this particular micro-garment. It would bring a blush to the cheek of the most galaxy-wise Dabo girl. At best it might possibly extend to the very tops of Kathryn's thighs, and the widest strip in the lattice of slinky fabric can't be more than four centimetres. Perhaps it's a tunic – to be worn over the top of something else?

The Consul's mate then adds knowledgeably, "Beneficial for encouragement."

Kathryn bows politely and thanks them again, offering a silent prayer to any gods who may be listening that no one insists she try it on. The Consul's wife clucks in a business like manner and steers Kathryn back to her former position.

Attention then turns to Chakotay as the Consul leads him into the centre of the circle.

Their host holds out a thick angular book, bound in a shiny blue patterned material. "Effective. In all cases," he says and places it in Chakotay's hands.

"Thank you," Chakotay replies, with a bow.

The Consul then brings both hands up, and, curling his fingers to form a circle with his thumbs, he lines them up in front of his mouth. Stepping closer to aim the narrow tunnel he's created at Chakotay's ear, he speaks through it to add, "Certain techniques – adaptations advisable."

"I'll keep that in mind," her first officer replies, tucking the book under his arm – hopefully not a disrespectful place to stow it. The circle disbands and Chakotay moves back to stand at Kathryn's side.

Over dinner Kathryn and Chakotay had answered the Consul's questions about the spiritual beliefs of the different species that make up the Federation, and the Consul had been curious about the beliefs and traditions of Chakotay's own tribe. Perhaps this gift is a book about Tak Tak meditation techniques.

Then their host claps above his head again and the spectacularly hideous clang sounds one more time, signalling that the assembly is over. The guests begin to disperse. Apparently, Neelix was right. There doesn't seem to be any expectation that the gift giving should be reciprocal.

Only the Consul and his mate remain on the stage and they turn to face Janeway and Chakotay. Kathryn's fingers itch to tap her combadge and make the beam-out call.

Arms crossed over his heart, the Consul says, "This day, foodstuff, blessings, gifts. With much care chosen. Your problems."

Kathryn's curiosity gets the better of her. "And what problems would those be exactly?" she risks.

The Consul's stretches both arms up vertically, fingers extended, possibly indicating the ship in orbit. "Crew of _Voyager_. Many years of travel." The arms come down and he presses his palms together in front of his heart, as if in prayer. "Multiple offspring. Death replacement. Generational launching," he explains.

His mate then joins in, her arms swishing gracefully from side to side around her waist. Maybe Kathryn is imagining it, but she has the distinct impression the Consul's mate is scowling at Chakotay as she says, "Highest ones to model. Important obligation. _Persistence _required."

Then, despite its precarious looking load, she bravely tips her head from one side to the other as she speaks directly to _Voyager_'s first officer. This time the disapproval in her expression is unmistakable. "Inadvisable. Further tardiness." she informs him firmly.

Without giving him an opportunity to reply, she rises up onto tiptoe and steps right into Kathryn's personal space once more, bringing her hands up in front of her face, using her thumbs and forefingers to make a diamond shape through which she then speaks. Her tone suggests surprise, with a hint of accusation thrown in.

"Your Chosen One highly decorative."

Kathryn is unsure whether this is some sort of question or a statement, but the Consul's mate appears to expect a response. Janeway decides that given everything that's already happened this evening, she might as well inhabit the role that's been forced on her by these people, so she shoots her first officer a lopsided smile and then replies, "Well, as captain, I had the whole ship to choose from."

Abandoning the rectangle her hands had formed, the Consul's mate covers her eyes with the palm of one hand, then remarks, "Decorative ineffectual," as her hand leaves her eyes and her fingers flutter dismissively at chest level before moving alarmingly far south down her body… Perhaps Kathryn had been hastily optimistic in her interpretation of the first remark as a compliment. For once she is genuinely stumped for an acceptable reply, so she opts for a diplomatic silence.

The Consul saves her by bidding them a final farewell.

"Joyous departure. Our gratitude, your visit. Good health, strong body, clear mind, Captain Janeway and Chakotay, Commander of _Voyager_."

Then his mate motions to Janeway to take her hands, and Kathryn is forced to pass her gifts to Chakotay so she can oblige. As she concentrates on the series of squeezes the female is giving her fingers and wonders what they signify, in her peripheral vision she can see Chakotay tuck the shawl under his arm with the book, so he has both hands free to examine her second gift.

The Consul's mate finally releases Kathryn, who immediately attempts to reclaim the exotic silver lattice. Her first officer seems loath to part with it, however, so she tugs it forcefully back until it slips through his long fingers. She glares at him and he returns the shawl too with a shrug.

The Consul and his mate then execute a well-synchronised joint bow with several accompanying flourishes of the arms. _Voyager_'s command team reciprocate to the best of their ability, after which the hosts finally turn and walk slowly towards the ornate doors to make their exit.

Kathryn exhales.

Chakotay turns to her and smiles. "I think the Tak Tak may have promoted me this evening."

She tilts her head. "Yes – I did notice that. Well, fun's over now, I'm afraid, _Commander of Voyager."_

The evening could have been worse, she muses. At least no one had asked Chakotay to 'please make her quiet' as they had asked of Neelix when they made first contact with this species a few days ago.

"Nice dress," he grins, indicating the silver lattice.

Janeway pulls a face then replies, "I prefer the shawl."

The twinkle in his eye intensifies. "Shawl?"

"Yes. Did you overlook that gift, perhaps?" She loops the silver lattice over one arm so she can hold up the first gift. It has long ties extending out of each of the four corners. She looks at Chakotay and feels his hand come to rest on the small of her back.

He dips his head to deliver his next words close to her ear. "I'm pretty sure it isn't a shawl, Kathryn."

"What makes you say that?" she queries, unconvinced.

He nods towards one of the huge paintings that adorn the walls of the hall; paintings that Kathryn hasn't studied in any detail since their arrival. She takes in the vast textured tapestry in blues and yellows. It depicts a family scene with a female standing prominently in the foreground, an infant slung across her chest area, held in place by an almost identical piece of embroidered fabric.

"I see," Janeway replies, pursing her lips. "Guess I should have known any gift from the Tak Tak would come with an agenda."

Chakotay points at the silver lattice she is trying to slip inside the shawl-_ sling_ in preparation for the beam out. "Care to speculate on the agenda that comes with that one?"

"Can't say that I do."

He chuckles. "I'd say the Tak Tak are trying to make sense of why we aren't actively trying to turn _Voyager_ into a generational ship. And the First Lady seemed pretty clear on the fact that we should be leading by example."

"Hmm."

"Seems they think your Chosen One needs a little 'encouragement'."

Kathryn swats his arm, then shakes her head and exhales. "But this? _Really_?" She brandishes the parcel she's made of her gifts and pulls a face. "Suddenly Aunt Martha doesn't seem so tactless."

Chakotay chuckles.

Then, part of the conversation with the Consul and his mate over dinner comes back to her. Thirteen children, ranging from toddlers to adolescents, had paraded past their table in a slow moving procession. Kathryn had expressed surprise when she'd been informed that all thirteen were the issue of their hosts. She had been told that 'numerous offspring' were 'advisable', because of the 'dangers of sudden death'. Chakotay had asked what dangers they were referring to exactly and the Consul had replied, "Space hazardous. Frequent off-worlder attacks." And then he had added, as an afterthought it seemed, "Accidents in home." Kathryn hadn't felt inclined to probe him any further on that one.

Her eyes seek out the book Chakotay was presented with and she's about to ask him about it when she decides that sometimes, it's better not to know.

He notices where her gaze has fallen and he taps the book. "From the little I've read so far, it seems to be… technical… advice. And it's… illustrated."

"Oh?"

"Apparently they've decided the problem is my lack of commitment to impregnating you."

Kathryn can't help but laugh. Then she says, "Well, it is at least a week since you asked me to dinner."

His dimples make an appearance. "You've been off the ship for the last three days! But, I'd be happy to cook for you. Tomorrow, 19.00hrs?" He eyes the parcel she's made by wrapping the silver lattice-like garment up in the sling. "And perhaps you might consider coming out of uniform for once – it's not like we're on duty at that hour."

She waves the parcel of material at him again and threatens quietly, "If you think I'd be seen dead in this apology for a dress you'd better think again, mister."

"You're probably right," he replies. "It would make for an unusual funeral."

"Now I know what B'Elanna meant about your twisted sense of humour."

He holds up his hands. "In or out of uniform, it'd be my pleasure to cook dinner for you tomorrow."

He offers her his arm. Kathryn takes it and they set off towards the ornate doors together.

Once they reach the beam out site they stand side by side.

Kathryn turns her head and watches his profile for a second, licking her lips as her taste buds tingle with the ghost of citrus flavoured chocolate. "Well, Commander, I'll say one thing for the Tak Tak."

Chakotay looks down expectantly at her.

"They've certainly given me a lot to think about."

He holds her gaze and a flicker of cautiously hopeful curiosity passes across his expression. Then he grins. "Care to share any of those thoughts over dinner tomorrow?"

She fails to completely suppress a smile as she taps her combadge.

"Janeway to _Voyager_. Two to beam up."

[The End]


End file.
